No looking back

I discovered that I lost my workout journal today.  I used it two days ago to check off my lower body workout and to write my weight/measurements, and now I have no idea where it is.  I am so sad, and I feel quite lost.

I guess it's a good thing, if I try to think positively.  That journal has a year's worth of workouts, measurements, changes to my workouts, bonus workouts, happy/sad faces when I hit/miss my goals, increases/decreases in weights, etc.  I suppose I don't have anything to look back on now.  I have to move forward.

What does moving forward look like?  Take starting measurements, make new goals, try new exercises, try new weights.  I'm excited and a bit frustrated at the same time.  This means more work for me, but it also means more concentrated effort to formulate a new regimen and outlook.

It's ironic because I just took away my mom's notebook (I train her 2x per week), so that I could reflect and redirect her this quarter.  Now, I get to do it for myself, minus the reflecting back.  It will be a bit more complicated for me, but stimulating.

Wish me luck and fun!

Free bootcamp anyone?

Apparently, the idea of a free bootcamp isn't as exciting to some people as it is to me.  I was at a playdate with my girlfriends and our kids, and both moms had just had babies 4 months ago.  They were asking me all sorts of questions about where I work out and how often I do it, and they each said they'd like to work on getting back into shape.  So, I offered to do a free bootcamp once a week in the back yard, and the conversation went silent from that point on.

It's sad to me that these moms are reluctant to put in the work to get what they truly want, especially since I was offering help for free.  I wasn't shoving it in their faces, either.  I simply said that I have to do my own workout, so I can do it with them and tailor it to their needs/abilities.

We finished our playdate, and once again I offered to help them get back on the road to getting fit again.  They each made comments like, "I just need to be able to squeeze into my work clothes again in a couple of months. I'll be fine, I'm sure."  I hope it wasn't because they just didn't want me helping them, but that they're truly not ready to put in the effort (I get that -- new babies and all).  I'll just see if they bring it up again at the next playdate and take it from there. 

You can lead a horse to water...

What are you training for?

I was at my new gym this morning for a bonus workout because my husband wanted to go with me to check out this new place where the girls and I are spending a lot of time.  I was doing my typical lower body workout with some additional high intensity cardio.  I asked if I could jump in on a machine while a trainer was with a young lady, and the trainer obliged. 

The young lady, who was probably 10 years younger than me, was doing squats with the amount of weight I used when I first started with my trainer (25 lbs on each side of the 45 lb bar).  She did a great job, but she seemed very uncertain about the squats, as I recall feeling when I started.  When I jumped in, I added plates of 45 lbs to each side.  It felt nice to see how far I'd come in about a year, from 25 to 70 pounds on each side.

The trainer asked me, "What are you training for?"

"I'm training for life," I replied.  Then, I explained that I had lost a whole bunch of weight and I've changed my lifestyle, so I just do it because this is what I do now.  I'm not training for anything, but everything life throws at me (although I am doing a 5K in 2 months, but I'm not specifically training for that).

When I was leaving the locker room after my workout, I saw the young lady all dolled up and ready to hit the day.  I told her that she was doing great, and that she should be so proud of herself.  She told me that my reply to her trainer's question, "What are you training for?" was inspiring.  She said she wants to eventually look as great as I do (how nice of her to say that), and she hopes that if someone asks her what she's training for her reply will be the same: that she's just training for "life".

Buy a size smaller

Feeling good about my weight loss and body shape these days, I decided to buy some jeans for the Fall.  I was pleased with the size that fit.  Nevertheless, I still bought a size smaller than the perfect fit.  Not because I wanted them to be tight, but because I want to push myself to continue to shed and tone in certain spots that the smaller size pointed out (waist and thighs).

If anyone's reading this post, I want encourage you to buy one size smaller than the best fit now (unless you're in absolutely perfect shape).  Make sure you're a bit uncomfortable, especially in workout clothes -- don't be afraid of elastic lines.  It won't be a waste of money, unless you never lose weight and keep them hidden in your closet.  Also, don't throw out/give away all of your "skinny" clothes.  Aspire to and work toward at least getting them all the way on (even if you have to suck it in to button up).

I lost 60 pounds, and I'm still losing and toning.  My body is taking on a different shape every few months.  It doesn't stop me from buying something that I know will look great in the future.  Small goals equal big results, eventually.

Jillian Michaels has come to join us.

It was girls' night out, and I showed up a little bit late.  I hadn't seen some of these girls all summer, and I wasn't sure the reaction I would get when I arrived -- I've become even more fit, and I was wearing an outfit that modestly showed that off.  Many of the other ladies had maintained, or possibly gained, over the summer.

Well, take it however you will (I take it as a compliment), when I walked in, one of my best friends said, "Oh look, Jillian Michaels has come to join us."  I'm definitely nowhere near her fitness or expertise level, but I'm happy to be compared with someone who has a great reputation in the fitness world. 

I saw Ms. Michaels in a restaurant in Downtown L.A. about 8 months ago, and she's teeny tiny; maybe 5 feet tall and probably 95 pounds of pure muscle.  I'm glad I'm not as petite as she is, but I'd definitely like to be as lean.  I'm getting there, and I won't stop until I'm satisfied... and even then, I want to maintain it for years to come.

I hope soon my friends will see me as a personal trainer who they want to enlist to help them get in better shape/health.  For now, I'll just be an example: no appetizers, cocktail and cheesecake after 9 p.m., just water with lemon and a lot of laughs.

Let's get naked

Why does it always seem like men don't mind stripping down in front of each other in the locker room?  Movies and tv shows portray men hanging out naked together in any sort of locker room as "normal" (gym, country club, police station).  Sure, there's often the funny scene where they are comparing themselves to someone else, but they remain nude together nonetheless.

I don't think the same thing goes for women.  I'm not sure many of us ever want to be naked in front of one another for very long, if ever.  I stay naked/partially naked a lot at home because I just can't seem to get clothes on without the little ones bothering me, and I also was breastfeeding until not long ago.  So, at home it's a very normal thing for me and my girls to be au naturale.  However, at the gym, I have no desire to be naked in front of or with any other female in the locker room.

My new gym, unfortunately, pretty much requires partial nudity because of the way it's set up.  Talk about getting out of my comfort zone!  It's designed so that you can't bring your gym bag or even your clothes into the shower area with you, or else they'll get drenched.  There are no hangers or benches in there.  So, you have to strip, stow your clothes, try to cover yourself with the smallish towels they give you, and then walk to the shower area.  Who designed this locker room, a man?  Anyway, now I have to figure out whether I want to shower there or head back to my other gym (which had a very comfortable setup for modesty), feign a workout, then take a shower there.

I'm not exactly sure what anyone can glean from today's ramblings, except to continue to understand my mind: I'm proud of how my body's shaping up, I love it when I get noticed (read my posts, "I'll take it" and "My grandma thinks I'm hot"), but I'm still modest and a bit insecure.  I think that makes me a real badass woman -- I'm strong, I strive for excellence, but I am relatable.  I hope others always see me that way, whether we're naked together in a locker room or hanging out having coffee. 

Nice legs!

I went to the beach for Labor Day weekend with my girls and hubby.  It was a wonderful and tiring time for all of us: an overworked husband, a sore mommy (I overdid it at the gym in preparation for a weekend of eating out), and a 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 year old in a new environment for 3 days.  We were all happy to get out of the hot Valley, but it took a lot of work to make it manageable and fun.

Nonetheless, we went to the beach and pool a few times, and we seemed to all enjoy some fun in the sun, including my belly, which hasn't seen the light of day in years.  I've either been pregnant or had a post-pregnancy belly for over 4 years now, which includes stretch marks that are too horrific for words (I'm not kidding, they're as bad as they can get).  Regardless, I donned a two-piece at the beach, and I felt like everyone was staring.

No one was staring, except me ... at this woman who was probably 7 years older than me and who looked amazing.  On the top half of her body, I'd say we were pretty much equal (toned arms and back, small, but perky chests, a moderately-defined four-pack).  But her bottom half was exquisite.  She looked like she had gone to great lengths to get her legs as well toned as they were.

I told my friend about her legs, and I think for a second, accusations of lesbianism came to mind.  But I couldn't resist explaining how incredible her legs were.  They were just about as short as mine (I'm only almost 5' 3"), but they sure looked longer than I perceive mine to look.  They were shapely in all the right places, but not bulky.

All that to say, I have a renewed goal to get to an even better place on my lower body, and I also know that I want to keep it up well into my forties.  I have seen in person that it's do-able.  It wasn't easy, I'm sure, but do-able.

And maybe I'll figure out how to laser those stretch marks away.  Or not.  Maybe if I had a beach bod like that I wouldn't worry about hundreds of silvery stretch marks.  Only time, hard work on my lower body, eating right (and possibly a bit more tanning) will tell.

16 Again

I think it's everyone's fantasy to go back and be 16 again, even if it's just for a moment, to redeem oneself now that we are so much older and wiser.  We would tell our young selves how to be "cooler" or how to get the guy/girl, or especially how not to make a huge impending mistake.  One thing I dream about (literally, I have anxiety dreams about this all the time) is going back and competing as a cheerleader at a National competition.  I dream I could go back in time and be a better gymnast, so that I wasn't limited in what I could do during competitions.  That was my sport, my claim to fame and how I learned most about myself and my competitive drive/focus. 

Sometimes, when I wake up from one of these dreams, I try to remember a cheer or a dance, and I stand in my room (all grown up) saying, "Ready, okay!".  It's a bit on the ridiculous side, but it's fun to let a little silliness out every once in a while.  The movements come back to me as if I were 16 again, until I get to the jumps. 

Oh, I was an awesome jumper.  I found out I was a good jumper when a guy I liked was about 5 rows up in the bleachers, and I wanted to impress him.  I jumped as high as I could, and I found out that I could raise my rump about a foot and a half higher than any of the other girls, even those who were taller than me.  From then on, I was the star jumper at competitions and performances.

For anyone who believes you can't be 16 again, I want you to know that by the end of the Fall, I'm gonna get my hops back.  I may not get quite as much air as I used to, but I'm going to wake up one day and be able to do several jumps high and clean like the old days.  Does that sound silly?  As I write this, it sounds silly.  But you know, it's an athletic goal, and I'm going to set my sights on it and achieve it.

If I can feel 16 again, I will, if only for a fleeting moment in the air.

More than you can chew

For the past several years, I've been trying to eat healthier and to cook healthier for me, my hubby and kids.  Now that I'm more conscientious about my protein intake, I have had to make even more stringent choices about which ingredients I use.  I wish I'd had this list sooner, but it will certainly help me form my shopping list every week:

 

List of High-Protein Foods and Amount of Protein in Each

By Laura Dolson, About.com Guide

Updated July 08, 2009

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our Medical Review Board

Beef

• Hamburger patty, 4 oz – 28 grams protein
• Steak, 6 oz – 42 grams
• Most cuts of beef – 7 grams of protein per ounce

Chicken

• Chicken breast, 3.5 oz - 30 grams protein
• Chicken thigh – 10 grams (for average size)
• Drumstick – 11 grams
• Wing – 6 grams
• Chicken meat, cooked, 4 oz – 35 grams

Fish

• Most fish fillets or steaks are about 22 grams of protein for 3 ½ oz (100 grams) of cooked fish, or 6 grams per ounce
• Tuna, 6 oz can - 40 grams of protein

Pork

• Pork chop, average - 22 grams protein
• Pork loin or tenderloin, 4 oz – 29 grams
• Ham, 3 oz serving – 19 grams
• Ground pork, 1 oz raw – 5 grams; 3 oz cooked – 22 grams
• Bacon, 1 slice – 3 grams
• Canadian-style bacon (back bacon), slice – 5 – 6 grams

Eggs and Dairy

• Egg, large - 6 grams protein
• Milk, 1 cup - 8 grams
• Cottage cheese, ½ cup - 15 grams
• Yogurt, 1 cup – usually 8-12 grams, check label
• Soft cheeses (Mozzarella, Brie, Camembert) – 6 grams per oz
• Medium cheeses (Cheddar, Swiss) – 7 or 8 grams per oz
• Hard cheeses (Parmesan) – 10 grams per oz

Beans (including soy)

• Tofu, ½ cup 20 grams protein
• Tofu, 1 oz, 2.3 grams
• Soy milk, 1 cup - 6 -10 grams
• Most beans (black, pinto, lentils, etc) about 7-10 grams protein per half cup of cooked beans
• Soy beans, ½ cup cooked – 14 grams protein
• Split peas, ½ cup cooked – 8 grams

Nuts and Seeds

• Peanut butter, 2 Tablespoons - 8 grams protein
• Almonds, ¼ cup – 8 grams
• Peanuts, ¼ cup – 9 grams
• Cashews, ¼ cup – 5 grams
• Pecans, ¼ cup – 2.5 grams
• Sunflower seeds, ¼ cup – 6 grams
• Pumpkin seeds, ¼ cup – 8 grams
• Flax seeds – ¼ cup – 8 grams

Ummmm....

So, I did my first workout at the new gym, and I felt so insecure.  Even people who look confident on the outside can be very insecure and overwhelmed on the inside, believe me.  I knew I would feel this way, so I wore my "Little Miss Bad" t-shirt, black lifting gloves and baseball cap to help me feel better.  I may have looked badass, but I felt very lost.

Luckily, I was met by a familiar face, my friend who I used to chat with at the other gym.  He gave me a warm hug and told me that he, too, "wasn't feelin' it" today.  We exchanged encouragement, he showed me some new machines, and away we both went on our own workouts.

I'm happy to have had that experience today (and most likely for the next few times I go there).  It reminded me that I chose to step out of my comfort zone to push myself emotionally and physically.  As I was told a week ago, I'm "one of the big boys now", so I need to let go of my security blanket.  Today, I let it go somewhere between the warm hug from my friend and 5 sets of 10 on a machine I have never seen before in my life.

To Crunch or not to Crunch

No, I'm not talking about the abdominal "crunch".  I don't do those, and I probably never will again.  There's a whole lot more interesting ways to work those abs than crunches.

I'm talking about the new gym that opened up in town.  I thought I'd go take a peek yesterday, but I told myself that I wouldn't make a decision to join the very first time I stepped in, since I had already re-upped my membership at my other gym.

Yadda yadda yadda (to quote Elaine on "Seinfeld"), I signed up, got the free gym bag and multivitamins, went home and regretted my decision.  I felt like I was being frivolous, considering I had just paid for a full year for my other gym membership.  I had to call my trainer.

"I think it's great," I heard on the other side of the phone, "You can go there after boxing class and do your lifting."

"But don't you think it's too much?  It is a very pretty gym, and the machines are state-of-the-art, but I don't need it.  I'm already getting flack from people telling me I'm working out too much as it is ... and now to join a second gym, how would it look?!"

"Those people are called 'haters'," was all I needed to hear from my trainer in order to feel better about my decision.  The fact is, I love certain things about my "old" gym: the people, the classes, the locker room (yes, it's comfortable, not sterile).  I am also going to really enjoy some things about the new gym: the cool new machines, getting out of my comfort zone, pushing myself to make new friends/workout buddies, new classes, and a fresh environment for my girls in child care.

Honestly, I think it is a good move for me and my girls.  Instead of spending 10 hours/week in only one gym, where the girls are most often watching cartoons and not really playing too much, I'll split my time between the two, where the girls will meet new kids and also play a bit more in the new gym (there's no tv in there, if I recall).

I'm writing all of this down to show that there are lots of factors that go into the decision of where/how to divide our time when we are stay-at-home moms.  We do think of ourselves and our own needs sometimes, but we also must factor in the children's needs.  After all, that's our job, right?  My decision to join was primarily for me, but it fits in well with my allotted workout time and also should be a good thing for the kids.

So, let's see how it all works out.  I'm pretty sure it will be just fine.