I had a heart-to-heart with my mom yesterday. She is very conservative and raised me to be that way, too. I am very modest normally, but this contest has pushed my personal limits lately - at least in terms of my contest uniform. In order to honor her (and also our relationship), I have decided to take the photos out of my blog. I feel like it is making her too uncomfortable knowing that my pictures are out there in cyberspace, and it is hindering our relationship. It's more important to me that we have a good relationship than for me to be able to fully express myself. I know that's censorship in a way, but it's me making the call to censor myself. I have the freedom to post whatever I choose, but I'm choosing not to post everything I want to, for the sake of something more important.
She also asked me to not compete in the figure contest, but I'm not sure I am ready to give that up just for her. She reminded me that as a Christian I need to be modest and honor God, and that does have quite a bit of pull on my thought process. I have a lot to consider, and I'll keep you posted.
It's not easy to listen to authority when you're a grown adult, but I have to figure out which authority is true, and which may be a manipulation. I know the bible is not a manipulation, and I believe every word is inspired by the Creator of the universe. Now, I have to figure out how God (and not my mom) is instructing me to live out the teachings in my own life... and that's what I have to do every single day. This situation is no different.
We'll see. But if it's not this contest, I will still write about my fitness expertise and some new challenge that I will find in order to push me and help to inspire others (if possible).
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