Breakthrough

When I started this blog, I had some very specific goals in mind.  I wasn't sure how long it would take me to hit them, but I knew I would hit them.  Well, after 3 months, I am proud to say that I've hit every one of my goals.  It has been a lot of hard work, but I feel like it's paid off... Now it's time to make new goals.

In the spirit of not looking back, I won't tell you what my goals were, but I'll tell you some of my new ones:

1. Strive to have the most positive attitude I can in all circumstances and praise God for His involvement in all things.  I outwardly portray a very positive and self-assured person, but I often feel buried under the weight of my insecurities and lack of control.  Staying fit has definitely given me a more positive self image, and it has given me something to tightly control.  However, that's only about 20% of what I have going on in my life, so I am challenged to be more positive and grateful in the other 80%.

2. Re-prioritize my activities to leave more room for the truly important stuff.  I want to make sure that I'm always making my little girls feel special and desired, even when I have them in child care at the gym or strapped into their carseats on the way to and from some necessary life-business, like shopping or the bank, etc.  Equally, I need to continue to keep myself available for my husband, physically and emotionally.  That means not tiring myself out entirely before he comes home late at night and remembering to call and encourage him during the day, even though I know we're both very busy.

3. Eat even more "clean".  I am doing better at cooking my own meals and using healthy ingredients, but when the kids (and I) want a quick lunch at McDonald's or at the Mall, it's hard to resist.

4. Drop another 5% body fat.  Honestly, I'm in the best shape I've ever been in in my entire life because I'm muscular and lean (in my youth I was mostly just lean).  However, I really want to lose more padding and fill it up with muscle while maintaining my womanly figure.

No looking back

I discovered that I lost my workout journal today.  I used it two days ago to check off my lower body workout and to write my weight/measurements, and now I have no idea where it is.  I am so sad, and I feel quite lost.

I guess it's a good thing, if I try to think positively.  That journal has a year's worth of workouts, measurements, changes to my workouts, bonus workouts, happy/sad faces when I hit/miss my goals, increases/decreases in weights, etc.  I suppose I don't have anything to look back on now.  I have to move forward.

What does moving forward look like?  Take starting measurements, make new goals, try new exercises, try new weights.  I'm excited and a bit frustrated at the same time.  This means more work for me, but it also means more concentrated effort to formulate a new regimen and outlook.

It's ironic because I just took away my mom's notebook (I train her 2x per week), so that I could reflect and redirect her this quarter.  Now, I get to do it for myself, minus the reflecting back.  It will be a bit more complicated for me, but stimulating.

Wish me luck and fun!

Free bootcamp anyone?

Apparently, the idea of a free bootcamp isn't as exciting to some people as it is to me.  I was at a playdate with my girlfriends and our kids, and both moms had just had babies 4 months ago.  They were asking me all sorts of questions about where I work out and how often I do it, and they each said they'd like to work on getting back into shape.  So, I offered to do a free bootcamp once a week in the back yard, and the conversation went silent from that point on.

It's sad to me that these moms are reluctant to put in the work to get what they truly want, especially since I was offering help for free.  I wasn't shoving it in their faces, either.  I simply said that I have to do my own workout, so I can do it with them and tailor it to their needs/abilities.

We finished our playdate, and once again I offered to help them get back on the road to getting fit again.  They each made comments like, "I just need to be able to squeeze into my work clothes again in a couple of months. I'll be fine, I'm sure."  I hope it wasn't because they just didn't want me helping them, but that they're truly not ready to put in the effort (I get that -- new babies and all).  I'll just see if they bring it up again at the next playdate and take it from there. 

You can lead a horse to water...

What are you training for?

I was at my new gym this morning for a bonus workout because my husband wanted to go with me to check out this new place where the girls and I are spending a lot of time.  I was doing my typical lower body workout with some additional high intensity cardio.  I asked if I could jump in on a machine while a trainer was with a young lady, and the trainer obliged. 

The young lady, who was probably 10 years younger than me, was doing squats with the amount of weight I used when I first started with my trainer (25 lbs on each side of the 45 lb bar).  She did a great job, but she seemed very uncertain about the squats, as I recall feeling when I started.  When I jumped in, I added plates of 45 lbs to each side.  It felt nice to see how far I'd come in about a year, from 25 to 70 pounds on each side.

The trainer asked me, "What are you training for?"

"I'm training for life," I replied.  Then, I explained that I had lost a whole bunch of weight and I've changed my lifestyle, so I just do it because this is what I do now.  I'm not training for anything, but everything life throws at me (although I am doing a 5K in 2 months, but I'm not specifically training for that).

When I was leaving the locker room after my workout, I saw the young lady all dolled up and ready to hit the day.  I told her that she was doing great, and that she should be so proud of herself.  She told me that my reply to her trainer's question, "What are you training for?" was inspiring.  She said she wants to eventually look as great as I do (how nice of her to say that), and she hopes that if someone asks her what she's training for her reply will be the same: that she's just training for "life".

Buy a size smaller

Feeling good about my weight loss and body shape these days, I decided to buy some jeans for the Fall.  I was pleased with the size that fit.  Nevertheless, I still bought a size smaller than the perfect fit.  Not because I wanted them to be tight, but because I want to push myself to continue to shed and tone in certain spots that the smaller size pointed out (waist and thighs).

If anyone's reading this post, I want encourage you to buy one size smaller than the best fit now (unless you're in absolutely perfect shape).  Make sure you're a bit uncomfortable, especially in workout clothes -- don't be afraid of elastic lines.  It won't be a waste of money, unless you never lose weight and keep them hidden in your closet.  Also, don't throw out/give away all of your "skinny" clothes.  Aspire to and work toward at least getting them all the way on (even if you have to suck it in to button up).

I lost 60 pounds, and I'm still losing and toning.  My body is taking on a different shape every few months.  It doesn't stop me from buying something that I know will look great in the future.  Small goals equal big results, eventually.

Jillian Michaels has come to join us.

It was girls' night out, and I showed up a little bit late.  I hadn't seen some of these girls all summer, and I wasn't sure the reaction I would get when I arrived -- I've become even more fit, and I was wearing an outfit that modestly showed that off.  Many of the other ladies had maintained, or possibly gained, over the summer.

Well, take it however you will (I take it as a compliment), when I walked in, one of my best friends said, "Oh look, Jillian Michaels has come to join us."  I'm definitely nowhere near her fitness or expertise level, but I'm happy to be compared with someone who has a great reputation in the fitness world. 

I saw Ms. Michaels in a restaurant in Downtown L.A. about 8 months ago, and she's teeny tiny; maybe 5 feet tall and probably 95 pounds of pure muscle.  I'm glad I'm not as petite as she is, but I'd definitely like to be as lean.  I'm getting there, and I won't stop until I'm satisfied... and even then, I want to maintain it for years to come.

I hope soon my friends will see me as a personal trainer who they want to enlist to help them get in better shape/health.  For now, I'll just be an example: no appetizers, cocktail and cheesecake after 9 p.m., just water with lemon and a lot of laughs.

Let's get naked

Why does it always seem like men don't mind stripping down in front of each other in the locker room?  Movies and tv shows portray men hanging out naked together in any sort of locker room as "normal" (gym, country club, police station).  Sure, there's often the funny scene where they are comparing themselves to someone else, but they remain nude together nonetheless.

I don't think the same thing goes for women.  I'm not sure many of us ever want to be naked in front of one another for very long, if ever.  I stay naked/partially naked a lot at home because I just can't seem to get clothes on without the little ones bothering me, and I also was breastfeeding until not long ago.  So, at home it's a very normal thing for me and my girls to be au naturale.  However, at the gym, I have no desire to be naked in front of or with any other female in the locker room.

My new gym, unfortunately, pretty much requires partial nudity because of the way it's set up.  Talk about getting out of my comfort zone!  It's designed so that you can't bring your gym bag or even your clothes into the shower area with you, or else they'll get drenched.  There are no hangers or benches in there.  So, you have to strip, stow your clothes, try to cover yourself with the smallish towels they give you, and then walk to the shower area.  Who designed this locker room, a man?  Anyway, now I have to figure out whether I want to shower there or head back to my other gym (which had a very comfortable setup for modesty), feign a workout, then take a shower there.

I'm not exactly sure what anyone can glean from today's ramblings, except to continue to understand my mind: I'm proud of how my body's shaping up, I love it when I get noticed (read my posts, "I'll take it" and "My grandma thinks I'm hot"), but I'm still modest and a bit insecure.  I think that makes me a real badass woman -- I'm strong, I strive for excellence, but I am relatable.  I hope others always see me that way, whether we're naked together in a locker room or hanging out having coffee.